Domestic Abuse Annual Report November 2021

The difference this is making

Some quotes from people who have been helped by this service:

“When I mentioned this to my children, they panicked, thinking they were going to be questioned. By the end of my visit I couldn't get them out of the place. They are excited to visit again and were so relaxed whilst there. It was lovely to see and brought me confidence if they ever struggle there are other places if they feel they can't talk to me.

I felt right at home, and safe. The staff were all amazing, friendly and honest. This is such a good service and feel encouraged I too have somewhere to go when I am struggling or simply to go visit.”

“I knew if I came here, I would feel much better. I enjoy the laughs and the cries… the happiness we share and the sadness we support each other with. It is a safe place to come.”
 

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“I am not your normal client you will find in a domestic abuse centre... why is that you may ask? Well, I work in a similar field and because I work, many services are not available to me.

“I am also aware many people might not think someone like me would need support and help with domestic abuse, but let me tell you this... no one is exempted from domestic abuse, it knows no bounds.

“I came to the Lighthouse as it was truly independent, I felt safe, not judged and accepted and listened to. They recognise my trigger trauma and helped me through it not questioning me or making me feel weak.

“The membership to the My Time in the evening is considered and has allowed me and others who would not normally be able to access this type of support to do so safely and without it affecting our day jobs. It has done so much for my wellbeing and reduced my isolation. I look forward to the group every week as it is the one thing for me!

“Please note we are in an era of where women work and so should have more opportunities like this to access services outside the normal 9 to 5.”

“I come to the Lighthouse as I enjoy the mix of women with like minds and similar experiences. I do not feel judged, and I am able to relax here. It is an opportunity to relax in a friendly environment and to share stories and interests.”

“I was referred to the Lighthouse Centre by my GP after I told them about the domestic abuse I was experiencing. I was called and [support worker] arranged a time [they] would be available to meet and greet me.

“I was very impressed; it was such a welcoming environment. I attend the evening My Time, where we laugh, and occasional cry, lots of support and fun. I also attended the 4-week Lotus programme which was very good and gave me the opportunity to safely reflect and gain new understandings about my experience.”
 

“I had not heard of the Lighthouse Centre before but [child] had been referred to their Leapfrog course. I rang up to check the progress of the referral and spoke to [support worker] who sensed my distress and informed me of their daily drop-in service and asked me if I would like to come into the centre in person.

“It felt like a huge task. Going somewhere I had never been before. Being in a centre for survivors of domestic abuse was not for me. It was not something I thought would help but [support worker] seemed lovely, and my family offered to bring me, so what did I have to lose? So, on July 19th I first set foot in The Lighthouse Centre.

“All my original thoughts and feelings evaporated. I felt tiny, like a little dormouse not knowing what to do and where to go. My family support worker took me there on the Monday and to my own surprise I went there every day that week.

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“And every day the next week… I started meeting all the staff who worked at The Lighthouse. Feeling for the first time in my life I had a safe space to share things I had been through without judgement or fear.

“The ease with which I found myself talking to [support workers]. I started talking about past trauma that I had never allowed myself to think of, let alone speak of. For so long I had tried to pretend nothing happened to be able to live but [they] gave me the permission I needed to be able to reveal my past without it coming back to hurt me.

“Coming to the centre regularly and having this safe space has saved my life. Seeing other women who use the service and drawing off each others experience is so valuable to me. There is a lady who does reiki and crystal healing sessions, a hairdresser and free legal advice.

“They can provide families with clothes and food and run courses like Leapfrog and Lotus programme which are invaluable sources for me because I am at a stage in my life where I have to relearn to be me.”

The difference this is making

Henry is a 74-year-old male who has worked hard all his life having a successful career which he talks very proudly of and has many fond memories. Henry was married for a long time having three children with his wife, one of which is David, his son, and the perpetrator of the abusive behaviour towards Henry.

When David was released from prison he went, once again, to live with Henry. David struggles with alcoholism. Henry advised that he has helped David out time and time again, setting up new flats for him, furnishing them, giving him money for tools and cars as he really wants to see him doing well.

Henry had arranged to meet David at the park after work, however when he got there, he noticed that David had been drinking and had alcohol in a carrier bag. Henry asked him why he had been drinking when he was supposed to be staying clean for his new job.

This incensed David, he started arguing with Henry and then assaulted him, which was witnessed by a member of the public, who contacted the police. This was not the first time Henry was assaulted by David, and a pattern of abuse and control emerged.

Henry was referred to the Multi Agency Risk Assessment Conference (MARAC) where local agencies come together to co-ordinate support for victims of domestic abuse, and he was allocated an Independent Domestic Abuse Adviser (IDVA).  When the IDVA talked with Henry they were able to identify coercive and controlling behaviours. 

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David had a long history of domestic abuse against intimate partners as well as towards his father. Henry initially felt it may have been something he did wrong to cause David to behave this way.  The IDVA and Henry talked a lot about his relationships with his children, helping Henry to see he was a loving father who had always shown his children affection and care.  Although Henry was able to see this, being a proud man, he struggled to accept he was a victim of domestic abuse. 

The IDVA continued to talk with Henry on a regular basis, undertaking safety planning, based on what Henry could realistically manage and with respect to his wishes. Henry believes as a father he should not turn his back on his child, and the IDVA worked with him to find ways to do this whilst keeping Henry safe from harm.

As trust in the relationship between Henry and his IDVA grew, Henry shared his experiences and became more aware of the coercive and controlling methods used by his son. Eventually, he made the decision to stop David going to his home. 

The IDVA arranged for better security measures to be fitted, including installing a CCTV camera, which made Henry feel safer and acted as a deterrent for David. As well as giving him increased safety, Henry has enjoyed watching the foxes that have been caught on camera.

Henry continues to meet up with David, but this is always in a public place, as he decided in his safety plan. He no longer gives David money but will buy him a bus pass, tobacco or some food when he sees him.

This helps Henry to feel that he is still being a good parent, something that has always been important to him. Henry has been honest with David, making sure he knows that people are supporting him and that he will report any incidents, threats or aggressive behaviour.

It has been important to Henry to know that David is being supported too. The IDVA works closely with his probation officer, and David has been given a place on a perpetrator programme which will challenge his behaviour and support him to make positive changes.  

The emotional impact on Henry and the rest of the family has been significant, but with safety measures in place, people to talk to, and a network of support, Henry is able to be a father to all of his children, have choices, be respected and be safe.

IDVA Reflections:

“Working with Henry and other similar cases in which the victim is an older person, and the perpetrator is their grown-up child, I have found that it takes much more time and can be very complex.

Firstly, it is their child, and they have unconditional love for them, and the grown-up child can often be their carer or main support. In my experience, it is not unusual for the grown-up child to have their own complex needs, such as drugs, alcohol or mental health issues and will often end up living at the victims address as they are unable to maintain their own tenancy.

Secondly, the elder victims can be very proud and find it much more difficult to discuss personal issues, talk about their relationships and are often very private people who will try to manage their own situation rather than feel like they are “bothering anyone” or “causing a fuss”. We always try to work at a pace which they are comfortable with and give them choices, respect and support.

The difference this is making

Throughout the pandemic, support for domestic abuse has not stopped. Often new methods of delivery have needed to be found but our Domestic Abuse Alliance has found ways of being there when they were needed.

As part of their Emergency Delivery Model, Tomorrow’s Women Wirral continued to provide a service for women despite having to close their community centre to the public. They adapted support to be mainly virtual, offering telephone Welfare Calls to continue contact with women, reaching up to 500 calls per week for emotional and practical advice. In addition, they continued vital interventions, delivering 1:1 courses via telephone including their domestic abuse programme Finding Me which helps women understand what abuse is, how to recognise warning signs and importantly how to move forward with their lives.

Tomorrow’s Women knew that whilst their virtual support was enough for some women, others, due to level of risk and crisis, needed more. They provided a COVID-secure, physically and emotionally safe space for women to attend prearranged one-to-ones or crisis visits should they need risk assessment, safety planning or safe exit plans. Tomorrow’s Women remained fully staffed throughout the pandemic with relevant social distancing and other safety measures in place to continue to provide a crisis centre for women.

Thinking creatively about how they could continue to have contact with women during lockdown, Tomorrow’s Women started their Femme 2 You project, funded by Comic Relief. By delivering sanitary products to women, they were able to combat period-poverty and have contact with people who may need their support. This helped women in a number of ways, but most importantly, showed them that they had not been forgotten about because of the pandemic.

Tomorrow’s Women also work with women who have been both victim and perpetrator of domestic abuse and may have been involved with Criminal Justice Services, using their courses, Changing Me and Red to Pink. A short case study demonstrates the impact of their work:

Due to violence at home, Fiona had had her children removed from her care. Following a further incident, she received a community sentence and began working with Tomorrow’s Women and probation services. Fiona engaged with courses and counselling, which helped to improve her mental health, increase her confidence, and gave her the skills to work on improving her family relationships.

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For Fiona Tomorrow’s Women provided a safe place, support and the services she needed. She went on to engage in their well-being course and make use of the wider support network they offer. Fiona has had her children returned to her care, has a new baby in the family, and continues to be supported by this valued community organisation. 

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The difference this is making

Thomas was a baby when he first became known to social workers, throughout his young life he had been a victim of domestic abuse due to the controlling and violent behaviour of his father, Peter. Thomas had only experienced his mother, Linda, in the capacity that she too was a victim of domestic abuse. The abuse Linda suffered meant that she could not relax, be herself, or enjoy life as a new mum.

A Social Worker became involved with the family following an incident that required police involvement. Linda felt devastated about being involved with social care and worried what it would lead to. When the social care assessment started, Linda told her Social Worker that the relationship with Peter had ended, that he was no longer a risk to her or Thomas but there was evidence that they were still in regular contact. The Social Worker, concerned about the level of risk to Thomas, convened an Initial Child Protection Case Conference.

Before the conference the Social Worker took part in a reflective session with a Domestic Abuse Practice Professional who helped them to understand that it is a normal trauma response for a victim of domestic abuse to be scared that social care will remove their children and therefore not unusual that they may find it hard to engage or will want to try to manage the behaviour of the perpetrator on their own. 

The Domestic Abuse Practice Professional also helped the Social Worker to consider the behaviour of the perpetrator, as Peter appeared to be engaging well with professionals, communicating with confidence, presenting himself as an engaging parent and describing Linda as someone who needed help.

The Initial Child Protection Case Conference went ahead, and Thomas became subject to a Child Protection Plan. At the conference Linda agreed to have support from a Domestic Abuse Family Advocate, someone employed to help families understand and engage with social care processes. Linda was quickly able to form a relationship with the advocate who helped to explain what was happening, listen to her and helping her to engage.

Possibly feeling that Linda was moving away from him, Peter lured her, using emotional manipulation, to a location where he assaulted her. Immediately after the incident Linda called her Domestic Abuse Family Advocate, told her everything and asked for help.

The Domestic Abuse Family Advocate supported Linda to report the incident to the police. The case was then referred to the Multi Agency Risk Assessment Conference where an Independent Domestic Violence Adviser was allocated for safety planning, target hardening and a non-molestation order to be put in place.

With the Social Worker accessing advice on domestic abuse from the Practice Professional, and Linda being supported by the Family Advocate, they were able to help Linda understand and engage with the Child Protection Plan without feeling re-victimised by the statutory process. Linda better understood the risks and actively worked with professionals, completing direct work with her Social Worker on post-separation risk, and regularly updating her safety plan.

Supported by her Domestic Abuse Family Advocate, Linda joined the Gateway programme. As Linda accepted support her confidence grew and she started rebuilding her network of friends who had been alienated by Peter, she was even able to go back to work.

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On top of that, Linda was able to enjoy being a mum to Thomas. At the first Child Protection Review, it was agreed by the multi-agency panel to step the case down from Child Protection to Child in Need status, thereby offering Linda and Thomas continued support whilst they recover. Linda continues to benefit from supportive relationships and Thomas is thriving in her care.

Reflection from the We Can Talk About Domestic Abuse Team:

“This case highlights the value of having a domestic abuse hub where workers can come together to work with the family to keep them safe. It also showed how importance the role the Domestic Abuse Family Advocate has in building a relationship with the parents, so that when they are ready, they are able to reach out for support and be there when needed, without judgement or fear.” 

The difference this is making

Michelle and Paul had been together for a number of years and had baby Isaac. Domestic abuse had been a feature throughout the relationship however Michelle had never pursued prosecution as she was fearful of the consequences from Paul. The case was referred to Children’s Social Care following an incident when Michelle suffered significant injuries.

During the social care process Michelle made links with family who live outside the borough, and she made the decision for her and her child to move closer to them. They went to stay for a short period but once there felt that this was not the right decision. Michelle saw Wirral as her home, where she had much more support from friends. 

She worried that Isaac would lose his connection to the area he was born. Michelle made the decision to stay in Wirral with Isaac. Children’s Social Care and other professionals were apprehensive of the decision, they felt that it may place both Michelle and Isaac at risk from Paul.  Professionals questioned her reasoning and if she was failing to protect her son by putting her own needs first. 

The We Can Talk About Domestic Abuse team completed reflective practice session with the Social Worker. Working together they were able to identify the positives of Michelle and Isaac being able to stay in Wirral, their being supported by existing networks and to mitigate against any potential risk posed by Paul. 

The Social Worker helped to reflect on the impact of domestic abuse on Isaac and how the multi-agency partnership could best support Michelle, whilst holding Paul accountable and disrupting his abusive behaviour.

The We Can Talk About Domestic Abuse team supported the Social Worker to update the safety plan for Michelle and Isaac as part of the Child in Need process. Together they worked with Michelle, her support networks of the neighbours and introduced code words to ensure that, should Michelle and Isaac be at imminent risk, they could contact emergency services. 

An application was successfully made to Merseyside Police to ensure a TAU (treat as urgent) marker was placed on the address. Safety planning together highlighted that the front door to the home was not secure, Michelle had been wedging a pram against it for safety. An application for target hardening was made to the Early Intervention Team. Within 24 hours additional locks were placed on the front door and windows of the property and within 48 hours CCTV and security lights were also fitted.

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This provided Michelle and Isaac with reassurance and immediate safety.
Risk is a dynamic factor in any domestic abuse case. The reflective sessions between the We Can Talk About Domestic Abuse team and Children’s Social Care provided space to consider the short and long-term impact of moving out of the area for Michelle and Isaac, and to weigh this against the possibility of safely managing risk through a robust partnership plan.

Michelle and Isaac continue to be supported by our multi-agency partnership in Wirral, surrounded by their friends and services who know them well and can help them to move forward with confidence.

The difference this is making

Family A were referred to the Gateway programme, for people who have survived domestic abuse, and the 5-year-old child had been referred to the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS) because of the impact the domestic abuse had had upon him. 

He would not sleep in his own room or play in the garden due to fear of the perpetrator. It was not just the child who had worries, the wider family were concerned that even though the relationship was over, and the perpetrator had moved out, that at any time they may return to the property. Target hardening was provided to the family as part of the support plan. Following the installation, the parent commented:

“We had two cameras and two spotlights put in yesterday and me and the kids had the best sleep ever last night and also [5-year-old child] is playing nice by himself in the front garden at the moment. Thank you so much.”

Family B were referred to the Early Intervention Team for support following a domestic abuse incident which took place after the relationship between the victim and the perpetrator had ended.

The victim was a female parent who was subject to ongoing threats and harassment, she feared for her own safety and that of her young child, who the perpetrator had threatened to abduct. A risk assessment indicated that a referral for an emergency house move was required. In the meantime, target hardening was completed to the property where the family lived, including fitting of CCTV.

Filming from the CCTV provided evidence that supported a Non-Molestation Order and evidence of harassment to the Family Court after the perpetrator applied for contact with the child. When the family were rehoused so too was their target hardening equipment, the Early Intervention Team arranged for it to be moved on the same day as the family.

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Now that they have settled in their new home and feel safe, the family have been able to engage in therapeutic support to assist their long-term recovery and are being supported through the legal processes, which are ongoing. The parent states that this support “saved my life. I had hit rock bottom.”

Family C had recently moved to Wirral from another local authority to escape domestic abuse. Their case transferred from the Multi Agency Risk Assessment Conference (MARAC) in their previous local authority to the Wirral Family Safety Unit.

A support plan was put in place with the Early Intervention Team and Early Childhood Services, as the family included a 2-year-old child. Both parent and child were looking to make a fresh start, but mum was unnerved when she discovered from a support worker that the perpetrator had been in contact with the Early Childhood Services, trying to establish if they were working with them.

The safety plan for the family was reviewed immediately. Mum was in fear and felt the only way the perpetrator could have found out where she was living was through tracking her mobile phone. The phone was replaced and a safe way of communicating with support services established.

Security measures were applied to their home. Both mum and child had formed a new support network and desperately did not want to move again, with target hardening in place they did not have to.

Mum said, being able to check outside her property before she leaves has made a huge difference to her stress levels. She is also able to check if anyone has been there while she is in work and moving on positively with her life.

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The difference this is making

The Drive programme is in its early phase and has not yet been in operation long enough to fully understand the impact it may have but early signs are promising. When the Domestic Abuse - No Excuse strategy was co-produced, many survivors did not think that perpetrators would engage meaningfully in a behaviour-change programme.

Most survivors had experiences of perpetrators doing ‘enough to get services off their back.’ However, the Drive team are already experiencing a different, more productive working relationship with service users beginning to happen.

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Case study example, in which the service user will be referred to as SU:
Since beginning the Drive programme, SU has engaged in every appointment and has built a good professional relationship with their case manager. SU has engaged in reflective discussions about their childhood experiences, the impact of the death of their mother, the negative effects that alcohol and substance misuse are having on their behaviour and mental state, facing up to their jealousy, fear of rejection, and need to control others.

Using a timeline, SU and their case manager have plotted out incidents and what was happening that led to SU behaving violently. This has helped SU to better understand triggers, the choices they had, how they acted, the implications of their behaviour and to consider the alternatives they had.

SU has committed to accessing support from their GP, working with Wirral Ways to Recovery treatment services, and wants to return to employment. SU will continue to work with the Drive team over the next year. It is hoped that the meaningful engagement shown so far will lead to long-lasting change.

The difference this is making

Abigail was referred to the Pre-Birth and Infant Team with partner Azi by their Social Worker when Abigail was pregnant. Abigail and Azi wanted to be assessed together, they presented as a united couple at first and both willing to engage in any support that was being offered.

Abigail did not recognise the warning signs in her relationship at first, she felt she knew Azi and believed that he had been honest with her about his previous convictions. Abigail refused a Clare’s Law enquiry and defended Azi on numerous occasions, minimising incidents that happened, and excusing his behaviour towards her.

He minimised them too and was very credible in his presentation. Abigail was extremely reliant on support from Azi and his family. Relationships with her family and friends had broken down, she had low self-esteem and was dependent on Azi financially. When baby Sonny arrived he and Abigail moved into a mother and baby placement while assessment continued. During this time, Abigail was developing a trusted relationship with her Infant & Family Worker, and she was learning about domestic abuse through the Gateway programme.

With an improving understanding of domestic abuse and a supportive worker, Abigail agreed to a Clare’s Law disclosure. This was a turning point for Abigail, getting the factual evidence helped her to see how she had been manipulated by Azi. She decided to end the relationship with Azi.

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After this she began sharing a lot more information about the abuse she had experienced. His attempts to control, intimidate and undermine Abigail escalated after she ended the relationship. He actively sought to make allegations against her and discredit her as a parent. Safety planning and supportive measures were swiftly put in place to keep both mum and baby safe and in control of their situation.

Azi is having supervised contact with Sonny whilst court proceedings continue. Abigail continues to be supported and to gain strength and confidence in herself as a woman and as a mother.

“Living independently has given me the confidence I need going forward with Sonny.”

The difference this is making

“This isn't just an organisation to me now. It's become a band of people that really have my back. They help me see that I will come through this. Throughout your life, people touch your heart, and maybe when you are at your lowest you feel that touch more, but I will never forget what the Paul Lavelle Foundation has done and is doing for me. If you're reading this and considering contacting them, do not hesitate. Heartfelt thanks to all those involved.”

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To date, Journey Men have 382 men have registered with them and taken part in their Walk & Talks, Walking Football at Tranmere Rovers FC, drop-ins at Prenton Rugby Club, sea-fishing trips, crewed narrowboat trips, photography and gardening clubs and joined in peer-to-peer befriending chats both online and in person. 

Supporting both men and their families, Journey Men are aware that almost 50% of the men who come to them do so when they are having suicidal thoughts or actively self-harming. Using peer support alongside their therapeutic programmes, Journey Men aim to remove the stigma of men asking for help, talking about their feelings, mental health, and wellbeing.

Got the Tee Shirt, a peer-mentoring programme co-ordinated by Involve Northwest supported 136 people throughout the pandemic, and where face-to-face support was not possible they used calls and text messages to keep in touch.

“I have needed support like this for years, thank you so much for coming into my life”. 

The difference this is making

“My name is Donna and I am a Domestic Abuse Family Advocate, it is difficult to put it into words what this job means to me, for you to understand it is important to know where I came from.

“My whole life was chaos from childhood right until the age of 49, without too much detail I had a number of “labels” pinned to me: physical abuse survivor, addict, domestic abuse victim. My life was a world in which chaos thrived and despite being a mother to my beautiful children the pain and the trauma always won.

“I did not have a good relationship with my children, they were in foster care and I believed that this was all the fault of social workers, I hated them, I blamed them, they spent their whole childhood in the hands of a corporate parent whilst I continued within the world of chaos which I could not and would not take responsibility for any part I had to play. I had given up. I was waiting to die.

“When I was 49, a friend, someone who had been in my world of chaos asked me to listen one day, just listen and to give him a chance. He took me to an NA meeting, narcotics anonymous, and from that day my life started to change.

“I spent a long time learning I was more than my labels, and for the first time I could see things more clearly. Now I am not pretending that this was an easy road for me to walk down. Its ten years later as I write this, and I am still learning about myself all of the time.

“When I joined the We Can Talk about Domestic Abuse team I could not believe it, I could not imagine for one second when living in the chaos, that person becoming someone who would eventually help people through the social care processes.

“Being part of a team implementing change with others, being accepted for my past and being asked to use my experience to help others, it blows my mind still now. I lived my life being unacceptable and here I am being accepted and promoting change in others.

“I thought I understood social care processes having lived through them with my own children, but when you go through it yourself you can only see it from your own side.

“This experience of being an advocate has awakened me to how the children are at risk and the impact on them, to understand it is not the social worker mainly making the decisions as they have their own processes to follow. I can also see the amount of help that is offered before it gets to the point children are removed.

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“This is the first time ever women who have suffered from domestic abuse have had advocacy in children social care, and for me to be that person who can sit with another woman and tell her it is okay I have been there, I understand, but this is what we need to do to keep you and your children safe, well I do not think people will grasp how much of a big thing that is to me, it is an honour.

“But I have not just worked with women individually, we created a service user group for our women, The Voice Group. I was that woman who was not being heard, so to be part of a group who by sharing experiences will shape the provision for future women is amazing, for women to come and share their voice and for statutory services to be listening to their voice is amazing.

“To be asked to take part in the domestic abuse alliance, sitting with people in positions of power, listening to me. It has taught me that I am enough, my experiences are important, my work is important.

“I want women to know, you are not alone, you can do this, there is a life waiting for you.”

The difference this is making

“My name is Rob. Back in November I did a self-referral to Journey Men due to a few difficult issues I was having based on domestic abuse because of the relationship I was in and a past relationship that was a bit rocky still.

“Without going into too much info, I was subject to a lot of control, actions and words. It put me in a bad mental state, and I was depressed and struggling to parent well to my little boy. He has time with his mum and time with me, but there was a lot of strain on the relationship with his mum and my ability as a parent as well as, my head was not in the right place because of all the actions that were happening to me.

“So, when I referred to Journey Men I was invited to come along to Walk & Talk they were doing first, which helped a lot because it meant I was getting out and away from the situations, as well as being able to talk to other men, and I got offered support.

“I started getting some counselling as well and then it came to light more and more that the relationship I was still in when I started my journey came to the forefront. It ended up with Police because the domestic abuse got really bad with threats and some of the stuff she was doing. I was having silly thoughts of doing stuff, but also it was majorly impacting on my parenting which then brought more family court issues over my little boy because of the impact of the relationship. It was impacting on my parenting and my relationship with my little boy and his mum.

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“So then Journey Men helped me with all that and we did the counselling and then I got offered a place doing the Gateway programme which was an absolute eye-opener and made me realise a lot of things as well. It shows you how to recognise signs of controlling relationships, abusive relationships, strategies, and ways to be able to cope with it as well. It was a hard course to do but it helped a lot to get me where I am now.

“The court case hopefully will be ending soon as well, with a successful outcome, but how I have come round since November - 12 months - and I am in such a better place parenting-wise, as a person myself, relationship with my little lad's mum, happy co-parenting and now I am a volunteer with Journey Men, so I have come full circle.

“So, I came to the door to self-refer and now I am part of the team here wanting to help everyone else as well and show that there is support. Journey Men are a vital organisation to help support people especially with the gateway programme that was done with me and the counselling, and the actual support from the team, especially [my worker] who was like a rock. He let me call him, text him if I was struggling, he was there; and now it is my turn to be able to help others.”

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The difference this is making

The Fair Play board game, delivered by the Paul Lavelle Foundation, is an educational tool used to instigate group discussion around various topics surrounding domestic abuse, characteristics of healthy/unhealthy relationships and mental health and wellbeing.

The sessions involve voluntary participation - participants can just sit and listen if preferred.  The game also advises where advice and support can be accessed by both males and females, in relation to domestic abuse and any concerns with unhealthy relationships.

Participant feedback

“I liked it because the game teaches you in a fun way and lets you express your feelings and helps your classmates get to know you better.”

“I thought that the game was good because it taught us that if you feel sad it is always okay to tell an adult that you know.”

“I have learnt what a healthy relationship is.”

“It is fun and you get to talk about how to be safe.”

“I think the game was fun because we talked about good things and bad things.”

Teacher feedback

“The case studies were really good - they are linked to real life scenarios which are common - children have experience of these. Some of the responses from the children were really eye-opening and I have identified who I can do follow-up work with.”

“The workshop was fantastic. All children were engaged and the staff leading the workshop were really approachable... Since the workshop, the children have been asking, constantly, if they can play the game again. The message of not using violence in any situation came across really well and the children are still talking about their afternoon.”

The difference this is making

We have hosted Learning Events and training on domestic abuse, reaching approximately 400 workers across Wirral. We asked workers attending training, “Do you think attendance at the event will improve the way you work with victims and survivors of domestic abuse and their families?” 97% said Yes.

We asked workers attending training, “What were your key learning points from the session and how will they help in your practice?” 

Here are some of their responses:

“Even as an experienced practitioner, I have learnt a lot about the impact coercive control has on children and their relationship with the protective parent from these learning events. These events are invaluable in terms of developing understanding and practice across different agencies in Wirral.”

“Abuse can happen to anyone and to some people it is the only life they have known. I would like to attend more sessions around domestic abuse as I still have a lot to learn.”

“Hearing first-hand from survivors of domestic abuse at these events is so important. We must continue to develop a better understanding around domestic abuse and how it can have such a long-lasting impact on the families we work with, even when the relationship has ended.”   

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